In Jacob's Memory
by Passionate Cec
Summary: What did Kate really mean when she told Gibbs she knew what suicide did to a Catholic family? Gibbs wants to know more about that. The Immortals episode tag.


A certain someone who will recognize herself when she wakes up and reads this, all but ordered me to post this story tonight. =) And since I'm just way too nice, I agreed.

It's a tag to _The Immortals_. I started this from the "I've seen what suicide can do to a Catholic family." I felt that she had been particularly hurt by said suicide so here is my take on this.

Now, I don't come from a Catholic family and, thankfully, I've never had to deal with suicide so I hope this will be accurate enough. I hope none of you have the experience to tell me if I'm wrong. That's not something I would wish on anyone.

It seems like a little bit of a touchy subject so I'm a little bit hesitant to post this, even though I really like this story. I hope you will share my opinion. =)

Also, in my mind, this is in canon with _One Meaningful Night _and though you don't have to have read it to understand, I feel, for once, it would be best to read it first if you haven't yet.

As usual, NCIS, Kate and Gibbs don't belong to me. I make no money with this story. Its sole purpose is entertainement. No copyright infringement intended.

Also, I would love for you to give me your opinion. Especially as there is a lot to comment about in this story.

And now, enjoy. =)

**In Jacob's Memory**

Agents Gibbs, Todd and DiNozzo were sitting in the car, on their way back from the naval base after a case during which they had almost been blown off. The whole case had bothered Kate. Gibbs had noticed how involved she got and how much she defended her point that the kid, a catholic, had not committed suicide. She had been awfully quiet since they'd closed the case and he was sincerely starting to worry – an emotion to which he was definitely not used to and of which he wasn't quite sure what to do.

He looked to the back seat one last time, checking that DiNozzo was still asleep, a dreamy and satisfied smile on his face. _Probably dreaming of Puerto Rico and naked girls. _He looked over at Kate who was sitting next to him in the front seat. She was still staring out the window, arms hugging her body tight. He wanted to stop the car and make her talk outside, where she would have no choice but to look at him, but that would wake Tony. And he knew that she would escape before he even had a chance to look twice as soon as they reached Navy Yard. As much as he disliked the thought, he had no choice but to confront her then and there if he wanted to help her in any way possible.

'Kate. Kate!' The woman jumped and turned to look at him, a confused and somewhat lost look in her eyes. 'You okay?'

'Sure.' He shot her a warning look. 'Drop it, Gibbs.'

'No, I won't. Not when one of my agents is letting her personal beliefs affect her job.'

'My beliefs did not affect my job. On the contrary, they gave me insight.'

'You said you had seen for yourself what suicide did to a catholic family.' There was an obvious, unvoiced question behind his words and she did not need to think to know what it was.

'Don't go there.' Kate warned, turning away, though not before he saw a few tears pooling in her eyes.

'Why not?'

'Because it's none of your business.' She snapped. And didn't regret it. And he decided to change tactic and make the tone of the conversation unquestionable.

'I'm not only asking as your boss; I'm asking as a friend, Kate. This obviously bothers you, whether you pretend the contrary or not. You are definitely not okay. I want to know what I can do to help.'

'Nothing. There's nothing you can do to help because nothing will ever change what happened.'

'What happened, Kate?'

'Leave it alone, Gibbs.'

'Come on, Kate. You know you'll feel better afterwards. Plus, who am I going to tell? My unfinished boat?'

He grinned as she let out an involuntary laugh. Gibbs watched out of the corner of his eyes as Kate considered the offer and saw her make a decision, though she did seem very reluctant. He let her take all the time she needed, and finally, she took a deep breath and looked him straight in the eye, her gaze so intense that he had to force himself to look back at the road unfolding in front of them.

'You read my file, right?' He nodded, not really sure where she was going with that. 'So you know I'm the youngest in my family. Three older brothers and one older sister. 'Again, he nodded. 'What my file doesn't say – because it's really not relevant anymore – is that I used to have a twin brother, Jake.'

A tear broke through her barrier and slipped down her cheek. Another followed but Kate didn't let it go far and immediately washed it away with a swipe of the hand. She, again, took in a deep breath and visibly squared her shoulders, as if getting ready for a fight for which she would need all her strength.

'Used to?' He questioned, when he thought she was ready, gently easing her back into her heartfelt admission.

'When we were sixteen, he ran his car into a tree. There was no evidence of foul play and since he had been going through a bit of a tough time, after a couple of weeks of barely existing investigation, the conclusion was suicide.'

She took a breath and washed away a couple more tears that were silently rolling down her cheeks.

'I've gone to that road a thousand times since and every single time, my first thought was how dangerous it was. I know he didn't kill himself. Nobody knew him better than I did and they all went with that conclusion. Even my family. At first, it broke them. We were all devastated. And then everyone pretended like he hadn't even existed. Committing suicide is a sin and no one wants a sinner in their family. So whenever the name Jake or Jacob came up, everyone would just change the subject. Everyone in the village adored him and then, all of a sudden, it was like he was a criminal whose name they all feared to pronounce, as if it would bring death or something equally tragic.'

Though Kate was obviously angry about the whole situation, Gibbs watched as she failed to hold in her tears. He couldn't help but think that she was very dignified when she cried. And he then realized that she had most likely shed so many tears over that subject that she now knew perfectly well how to deal with the overwhelming emotions. He didn't even realize his right hand had left the steering wheel until he was linking his fingers with hers. She offered him a shy and teary smile and squeezed his hand. He didn't dare comment on the content of the painful admission.

'Thanks for trusting me.' He whispered.

He lifted her hand up to his lips and kissed her knuckles before letting go of it. Kate was silent for a long while, having gone back to gazing through the window. She was, once again, quiet but she seemed calmer and more settled this time. _The calm after the storm._ At least she was keeping it all bottled up anymore. Gibbs though she was probably thinking about her beloved and lost twin.

'Now you understand why you will always see me fight that hard over ruling any death as a suicide that quickly.' He heard her murmur.

'I do. Just remember that sometimes, it actually is a suicide;'

'I know.' She paused and a small grin grazed her features. 'So, are you going to tell your unfinished boat about this?' He chuckled slightly before turning to look briefly at her. He slowly shook his head.

'No, Katie. This remains between you and me.'

'Thank you.'

Again, Kate paused, as if gauging the reaction that would most likely come out of him at her next words.

'You know, Jake is the only one I ever allowed to call me Katie.'


End file.
